8/29/12: It's often said that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow and for that matter none of us are guaranteed the next moment. I am attending a memorial service tomorrow and when things like this occur I am always reminded that it's best to have relationships in good places in every moment as much as possible.
I wish all persons the sort of life that when it's our turn to pass on, even through sadness, those who know us can find some sort of peace. I must add that it is a privilege and gift to know that all was right between you and the person who is gone. If you have repairs to make I hope all pride can be put aside and your relationships can be brought to a place that heals your hearts. ~Jane Steel Hahn
9/16/12: Every single decision you make can have an affect on another person, place or thing and this is why you are either part of a problem or part of the solution in every single thing you do. ~Jane Steel Hahn
I hope you make it a good day not only for you but for others too.
8/3/12: Man! I really don't like meanness or mean people! I get teasing but some people don't know when to turn it off and it's hard for me to deal with. If I discover that someone is just plain mean-spirited I don't allow them to be in my life because that stuff can rub off on another person and it becomes contagious. ~Jane Steel Hahn
8/8/12: The things we think we have no time for are simply those things we don't make priorities. The people we think we have no time for are simply those people we don't make priorities. ~Jane Steel Hahn
8/20/12: As Don and I got ready for our day we exchanged compliments this morning. I enjoy and appreciate Don for so many things. No matter how bad I think I look he still takes the time to express appreciation for me and for my appearance. Of course I had to ask whether or not he had lowered his expectations, his standards or just couldn't see as well. After a good long laugh we decided that's just what happens when you WANT to love someone for a long time.
I wish for many individuals and couples the opportunity to make the choice to appreciate yourself or another person for who you or they are and for what you or they become regardless of what the years of wear and tear do to the heart and appearance. Love and hugs. ~Jane Steel Hahn
7/3/12: There is a world of difference between the IDEA of being in love with someone and actually LOVING that person. If you are waiting and longing for the one you think you love to treat you differently or to behave or react differently toward you then you are actually longing for someone your loved one is never going to be. If you have to offer "ultimatums" to someone to have your needs met you are wi
th the wrong person. Anyone can BRIEFLY put on an act but the one you want to be different is always there and will show up when the act is over. If you give yourself the chance you can find the one who meets your needs but you have to be strong enough to rid yourself of bad or mediocre relationships first.--Jane Steel Hahn
7/5/12: Something to remember about your relationships is that the impression your parents and closest friends have of your significant others (SOs) is based on what you tell them. If you're a complainer or into drama - no one is going to like your SOs - and in the long run, neither will you. It's always best to leave all embellishment, over reaction and exaggeration out of any narrative when sharing your relationship info. It's as important to pick what you share as it is to pick your battles.~Jane Steel Hahn
7/5/12: Momma Hahn's Newlywed Advice: 1) Never embarrass or even jokingly humiliate your spouse in public. You can have fun but not at the expense of your spouse. It will help you later in your marriage. 2) Keep your fights between you and your new spouse. In other words don't take your fights to your parents or friends. You are now a new team. You have to learn to work things out with each other without outside interference if you want a successful and happy marriage. Wishing God's blessings on marriage.~Jane Steel Hahn
7/23/12: Momma Hahn's Relationship advice:
Some of the best parts of a relationship are found in those special moments when you start out thinking you are going to please, impress or amaze the other person but end up laughing uncontrollably. The deepest romance begins with mutual respect, admiration and the ability to make the other person smile or laugh. ~Jane Steel Hahn
7/23/12: Momma Hahn's Relationship Advice:
All dating and marital relationships go through changes if given time. My thinking is there is a correlation between intensity and unhappiness. As pressures (and responsibilities) build the intensity builds. If there are no releases on relationship pressures something is going to blow up and it can result in resentment, hard feelings and building up walls that inhibit communication and hide reality.
Momma Hahn's suggestions for pressure release are:
1. Offer at least one praise or expression of appreciation every single day. Caution: If you can't find something worthy of praise on a daily basis one of you isn't living right, you have your eyes closed or you need to check your eyes for those logs that prevent you from recognizing it. If you are dating and can't find something daily then you are with the wrong person and you need to do both of you a favor and end it so you both can find someone with appreciation.
2. Find something to laugh about daily whether it's at yourself or WITH the other person. Caution: laughing at the other is okay as long as it's in jest, with their permission and there is absolutely positively no malice involved.
3. Listen without offering advice to solve a problem or making judgment unless solicited. Caution: There are those moments when all a person needs is to vent. Once the vent is opened and allowed to breathe it can close with little effort unless you inadvertently throw in words that keep that vent open. The longer you clog that vent the longer you're going to hear about an issue.
4. Help when help is needed don't wait to be asked. Offer help if you think it may be needed. Caution: if it's obvious there's a need and you have an attitude of the other person is quite capable of handling it and don't make an offer it can be interpreted as lack of caring. If you are thinking you're too tired to help with something believe me the other person is just as tired. Better to offer and be turned down than be resented because someone thought you didn't care at all or were just too darn lazy. ~Jane Steel Hahn
It's one thing to know you are with a person who totally accepts you for who and what kind of person you are. It's another thing to treat that person as if he/she is just "one of the guys" or "one of the girls" all the time. The minute you stop thinking of and treating your special person as someone who deserves more than average respect, privileged privacy, protection and devotion the romance and relationship will suffer to some degree.
It's great to be able to be yourself with the one you love. It's even better to do what you can to treat your loved one like you would treat someone on a first date for as long as your relationship lasts.
If you wouldn't do certain things on a first date then don't make it a habit of doing those things as the relationship evolves. If you wouldn't say certain things on a first date then don't start a habit of saying those things as you get closer emotionally. Slip ups are acceptable but thinking manners and chivalry become less important as the person you love becomes more important is a mistake. Chivalry isn't dead unless you kill it. It applies to women as well as men. ~Jane Steel Hahn
6/6/12: It's a false premise that it's better to be with someone who makes us miserable than it is to be alone. It's easy to allow our hearts to shield us from the truth in our relationships. We invite pain and misery and end up in trouble when we let our heart take over our brain and then let another person determine our value.--Jane Steel Hahn
6/18/12: No matter how long a couple is together or married it's always nice to HEAR and SAY words of appreciation and love. I encourage others to continually look for something to appreciate in the one you love. When your heart is filled with gratitude it crowds out anger and resentment and always enhances your relationships. The same applies to those who are single. Love always starts from within.--Jane Steel Hahn
5/7/12: No relationship is perfect. Relationships aren't meant to be perfect. We are supposed to grow and learn from ALL of our relationships, not just dating or marriage but from friendships and family relationships too. If you have relationships that need healing please do what you can to start that process because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Love and hugs, Jane Hahn
5/11/12: Finding yourself "in love" can just happen. Being "in love" is a matter of choice. Maintaining a relationship and staying "in love" throughout that relationship is a commitment and a conscious decision that requires action by BOTH people.--Jane Steel Hahn
4/21/12: If you are in a relationship that is emotionally, physically or verbally abusive and you choose to stay in it telling others that this is where God wants you to be you are lying to yourself and to others and you are giving God a bad reputation.--Jane Hahn
4/22/12: Dating is supposed to be a way to try others on for compatibility. A FIRST date is NOT supposed to mean commitment. Each date after that is supposed to provide the opportunity to get to know each other until you find out whether or not you're truly compatible. Those who fall too fast should be handled with care by the other person. Those who choose to date "commitment-phobes" should keep him/herself aware of the risk of heartbreak. ~Jane Hahn
4/22/12: If you have loved and "lost" a relationship be thoughtful about to the type of person you are drawn to. Be careful not to choose the same type of person in your next relationship to improve your odds of having a better one the next time around. ~Jane Hahn.
4/29/12: If you are working your hardest on a relationship to be with someone who perpetually breaks your heart be very careful because you may just miss out on the one with whom your soul is supposed to sing. ~Jane Hahn
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