My Valentine Day Surprise

St. Valentine's Day is supposed to be the holiday for lovers of all kinds. Even though we should all be loving and kind year round this special day is a day that we are allowed to make up for those times when we fall short. I have always enjoyed this day because it has given me an excuse to enjoy a little extra chocolate. It's also been a day that I could bestow a little extra love on my family without being considered cheesy. Another special thing about this day is that my boys (that term includes my amazing husband) could show me a little extra love and I love every minute of that.

My middle son, Brian, had started his own tradition four years ago. He would give me a single long stemmed rose along with a hug and a kiss. He would always say, "I love you, Momma." He would flash his beautiful white toothy smile and know he'd done something very special all on his own. I didn't take these flowers for granted. I knew money was tight for him at times. I knew he also had girlfriends to remember as well. I was always surprised and thankful that he would take the time to remember me.

I was dreading Valentine's Day this year. I'd made it through the other holidays and I knew I could get through this one without Brian. I just didn't want to feel the "missing him more than I usually do" moments that I knew were inevitable. I shared my dread with my husband, Don, and sons, Andrew and Derek. They understood what I was talking about. They don't like those moments any more than I do.

From time to time Brian's friends come over and visit. I've always enjoyed Brian's friends. Brian was pretty special in his own way and his friends are still special to us. On Friday before Valentine's Day a friend of Brian's came over and presented me with an art project. He was assigned to make a "memorial or shrine" to someone he admired and respected. He chose to make one centered on Brian. I'm happy to announce that he got an "A" on his art project. It's a decorated box that has pictures of Brian and images of activities that Brian participated in and were associated with. I'm also glad to say that I am proudly displaying it. Every time I look at it I smile and it warms my heart. How thoughtful it is for him to think of giving that to me.

On Saturday before Valentine's Day other friends of Brian came over. I really appreciate the visits from his friends. I'm thankful that his friends would take time to think of Brian's family and keep us up on their lives. It gives us all time to learn more about each other and it also allows us time to remember Brian together. We shared so many stories and caught up on their lives and love lives. I am still a mom who wants the kids to be happy and to make good decisions and I let them know that. At times we reminisced about things we all did with Brian. I shared various things and I told them the stories of Valentine's Days past and told them I would miss Brian's rose. They shared the things they would miss most about Brian and we all laughed about the fun times they all had. Saturday ended late. The guys stayed longer than they'd intended. We didn't mind but it was time to call it a night so Don could get to bed. As I hugged one friend goodbye I almost couldn't let him go. He smelled just like Brian used to smell. He was wearing the same cologne that Brian used to wear. It surprised me at how comforting this was. The other friend hugs just like Brian used to hug me. I also find that difficult to let go of but I know I have to and always do.

On Valentine's Day morning I started out the front door to get my paper. To my delight I found a single long stemmed red rose standing upright so perfectly beautiful. It was propped up between a planter and bear statue right in the middle of my porch. I noticed a tag waving in the wind. I leaned over to read the tag and noticed that the rose had been scented with Brian's brand of cologne. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I read, "To a Mom loved by many but loved most by one." Tears of gratitude started streaming down my cheeks. I then picked up the rose and discovered another note with a funny picture of Brian wound tightly around the lower part of the stem. This note read as follows:

"A bond between a mother and her son is unbreakable. Thank you Mom for not only the love you have given me but also to the ones that surrounded me. Even though I could not give you this rose personally, I found a way spiritually through the ones closest to me. When times seem to be unbearable and you pray that I am there, I am. Sometimes you notice me more times than others, like when I combed my hands through your hair or when I give you that kiss goodnight. I will and ALWAYS WILL be there. I guess you can say I am YOUR guardian angel.

With an unmeasurable amount of love,
Your Secret Admirer"


I am completely taken by the love and kindness bestowed on me by Brian's friends. I believe that "birds of a feather flock together" and Brian was such a kind, funny (incredibly funny) and loving person. Many of his friends are so much like he was. I am respecting the anonymity of the Secret Admirer even though I have an idea of who it is. Those people or that person made the day so much easier to deal with and get through. Don, Andrew and Derek confirmed that they did not commit this act of kindness. In fact they all got me long stemmed roses on their own and did what they could to be sure we all remembered Brian and had a blessed day. So much for dreading the day. On a scale of one to ten, this day ended up being worth 10 hugs.

Love and hugs to you, dear readers!